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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437385">Case of the Disappearing Friends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/secret_murmurs/pseuds/secret_murmurs'>secret_murmurs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt Remus Lupin, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Pre-Slash, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black as Padfoot, Werewolf Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:15:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/secret_murmurs/pseuds/secret_murmurs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>...A part of him still expects to wake in his parent’s cottage, alone as always. Where he would be, if they had told, as anyone would expect. But they hadn't. They stayed his friends and let him stay in their dorm and brought chocolate to his bedside.  </p><p>Really, why should it matter if they had gone and developed inside jokes without him? Or that Sirius lied...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marauders &amp; Marauders, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hardly Notices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A part of him still expects to wake in his parent’s cottage, alone as always. Where he would be, if they had told, as anyone would expect. But they hadn't. They stayed his friends and let him stay in their dorm and brought chocolate to his bedside.  </p>
<p>Really, why should it matter if they had gone and developed inside jokes without him?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At first, the changes are subtle. So subtle, Remus hardly notices.</p><p>Hardly—because he <em> does </em> notice — how could anyone so close to their friends <em> not</em>? He’d have to be daft not to. To not see his friends became closer without him. To not see the strange way they carried on about fun times—in detention, at late night Quidditch practice, on the night of the full moon—when he couldn’t join them. To not see them panic when he enters the dorm without warning to grab a forgotten book. </p><p>But though it feels like a silver knife stabbing a little deeper, who could blame them? </p><p>He is a werewolf. A monster. Not human. </p><p>A part of him still expects to wake in his parent’s cottage, alone as always. Where he would be, if they had told, as anyone would expect. But they hadn't. They stayed his friends and let him stay in their dorm and brought chocolate to his bedside.  </p><p>Really, why should it matter if they had gone and developed inside jokes without him? Or that Sirius lied when he said he’d been at detention the night before for not doing homework that never existed. (He checked. McGonagell assured him no less than six times that he’d not missed a homework assignment for the first time ever, and that he did in fact belong in school.)</p><p>For someone who had never had any other friends, none of these should be deal-breakers. <em> He </em> was the one who always asked for alone time. For quiet and peace and a chance to “get some ruddy homework done for Christsakes’.” </p><p><em> He </em>was the werewolf—how had that slipped his mind? </p><p>Lily Evans had a way of helping him forget. Maybe it had something to do with her being his only friend who didn’t know his secret? But it was more than that. As a Muggle-born witch, she faced prejudice at school; her awful sister made him understand why she saw Snape as a nice enough fellow. So surely she could accept him if his three well-off, pure-blooded, popular best mates did?</p><p>Unless maybe they’d realized their mistake, but were too polite to say, or too scared—who could blame them?</p><p>“Remus,” says Lily, “can I ask you something?” </p><p>He looks up from his Potions essay—all five words of it—and nods.</p><p>“‘Course Lils,” </p><p>She pauses and looks at him expectantly, with an expression that seems to suggest he should be able to fill in the rest. Which he can’t.</p><p>“No offense...but why do you hang out with those three?”</p><p>Of course, he can’t tell the real answer. The one about his being a bloodthirsty monster. And about how Sirius clings to him in the middle of the night when he’s just relived the horrors of a family life that’s somehow more traumatizing than being a werewolf. Sweet Sirius, looking every bit a grateful injured puppy. And about how he grins like he’s won a million galleons after they prank someone—but only if Remus smiles first. </p><p>“They’re not so bad once you get to know them.” He says instead. <em> More like bloody saints and superheroes. </em>Well, maybe Peter would be a side-kick rather than a hero, but still. </p><p>Lily scoffs and points. Someone’s head had ballooned to thrice it’s normal size.</p><p>He shakes his head slightly and gives her a sheepish shrug, sipping his Earl Grey with exactly a spoonful of sugar.</p><p>***</p><p>Remus hardly notices his best mates’ occasional disappearances—which he dubs “werewolf-free hour” in an attempt at humor while he waits alone for them in Hogsmeade. The throngs of snogging couples begin to throw him pitying glances. </p><p>Some pretty seventh year asks if he’s been stood up and invites him to sit with her girl friends, who fuss over him like a cute, fuzzy animal. His bollocks atrophy with every pitying coo. He vows to never return to the disturbingly-pink interior of Madam Puddifoots.  </p><p>His friends return from werewolf-free hour grinning maniacally as they laugh and clap each other on the back and call one another cool nicknames. (Although <em> Wormy</em>, really? He should probably have a talk with the others before they hurt Peter’s feelings. Again.)</p><p>“Moony! There you are. Why’d you leave Hogsmeade so early? We didn’t see you.” </p><p>“It’s five o’clock—I’ve study group. With Lily.” </p><p>He grabs his things and heads out—nevermind that it’s actually closer to 4:30—and heads in the wrong direction for the library. </p><p>James pants after him in the hall. </p><p>“Oy, Moony, wait!”</p><p>“What?”  </p><p>“You forgot your books.”</p><p>“Pardon?” </p><p>James holds out Remus’ rucksack, containing all his books. </p><p>“Silly Moony, how’d you plan to do homework without it?” </p><p><em> The same way you lot did three times last month, </em>he murmurs bitterly to himself. </p><p>“What’d you say Moons?” </p><p>Head leaned forward on a desk, he falls asleep in the library during his imaginary study session, and someone drapes his cloak over him like a blanket. Probably Madam Pince. </p><p>***</p><p>During his actual study session in the library, nothing gets done. </p><p>“Lily, if one of your best mates—hypothetically, that is…” His breath catches. Two emerald eyes probe him like searchlights. “...is spectacular and perfect and too good for you, ignored you on occasion, how might you handle it?” </p><p>“If this is about Severus—”</p><p>“Don’t worry, it’s about those ‘insufferable prats’ I associate with, foolishly.” </p><p>Her face softens. </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“They...sometimes I think they don’t like me as much as each other. Anymore, at least.”</p><p>Saying that aloud makes him realize how ridiculous it sounds. He sounds like one of Sirius’ scorned ex-girlfriends—well, ex-snogging buddies.</p><p>“No, believe me, they adore you. Especially Black. If he looked at his girlfriends like that, they wouldn’t come crying to me each week about how hot and cold he is. Like the other night,” she begins, not noticing Remus, lost in thought. “He was supposed to take my friend Bertha on a picnic that <em> he’d </em>planned a week in advance—and cancelled to watch the full moon from the Astronomy Tower. Alone! Only Black could finally decide to do homework when he’s supposed to be on a date.” </p><p>She rambles on, oblivious to a smile that is close to breaking his face muscles and permanently crinkling his eyes.</p><p>But he still wonders. Late at night, tossing and turning until blankets strangle him. When the others "forget" to invite him to a prank. (Again.) As blades of light fall on the hour, and he loses his last vestiges of humanity.</p><p>Howling mournfully to the moon, the wolf too wonders why he has no pack.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you like it so far! I wrote this on a whim while trying to finish up the other stories I'm working on.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for disappearing myself! After many attempts, I've realized I really needed three chapters to include every scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Now, the changes are obvious. So obvious, Remus admittedly notices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Admittedly—because he</span>
  <em>
    <span> will </span>
  </em>
  <span>keep pretending not to—but how could anyone so close to their friends not?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s their fault. They used to be subtle!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who is he kidding? Those three couldn’t keep a secret if their lives depended on it—except his Furry Little one, and whatever this is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait, had they replaced him? Surely someone had to rein them in, be the voice of reason...they did need one, right? Or at least, they needed him for pranking or homework or something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he notices...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every disappearance seems to end in silence—otherwise unheard of in Gryffindor Tower. As a relatively-sane wizard, he assumes they react to the reminder they live with a bloody monster. A dark creature. Who in their right mind wouldn't be a little scared by the thought?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except, looking at the evidence...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of his mates were remotely in their right minds. Lovely, brave, intelligent, kind, but not a particularly sane lot, the Class of ‘78. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lily convinces him it's because none of the three sleep on the fulls. (From the sound of it, likely up having a werewolf-free party.) They do sometimes seem more exhausted than him afterward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every silence seems to end with a cold shoulder directed at one of them. (Not that he tracks this in a moon-themed journal Sirius gave him for his birthday.) From Sirius’ murderous expression and Moody Rebel Poses(™), he settles it. They obviously do need him as much as they insist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And really, leave it to them to be unable to go a day without rowing in the absence of their </span>
  <em>
    <span>werewolf </span>
  </em>
  <span>keeper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's so funny Moony?" asks Sirius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus leaps out of bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, nothing...why?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're laughing like a madman? Anyhow, we wanted to ask—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Want to do something together?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is it. His chance to be fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"—we need your help to get out of detention." Of course that's what Sirius wants. "Pleaseee?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But at least they spend quality time together in detention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Psst”—Remus leans over—"what did we do again?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I forget." The other boy vanishes into the greenhouses, leaving Remus alone with his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any ideas, Ms. Marple?" he thinks aloud—not noticing a concerned Madam Pince—as he opens another mystery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fine, so maybe, Remus notices now, and maybe it bothers him, and maybe Lily was right all along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But how exactly is he meant to confront the Hippogriff in the room </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he is a Gryffindor, like the rest of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, who is he kidding? Beside being the world's wimpiest werewolf, he's also a pushover. Everyone in the castle knows it. The ickle First Years, the house elves, even the bloody owls. Pathetic, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now I'm not saying you're pathetic, Re," says Lily. "Just that you could stand up for yourself once in a blue moon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're apologizing because I called you a pushover?" She giggles, and he laughs along, cloud-light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So what if the disappearances have gotten longer and more frequent? What of the fact they didn't include him in three whole pranks? (Nor even offer.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the more time to study. Which he does with his real mate and the band of people who surround her like moths drawn to flames of red hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if he weren't preoccupied enough, everything else changes this year. (Except, unfortunately, his height, which does not keep pace with his squeaky voice and acne.) James and Sirius return taller and fitter from a single-minded obsession with Quidditch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, and girls. Not that they're alone in that—the entirety of Third Year seem to have discovered silly notions of romance. They enter a frenzy in search of dates to Hogsmeade, now that they can go. Which is understandable, except for his mates, who snuck into Hogsmeade countless times—and slinging dungbombs at the grossest snogging couples there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus doesn't see the fuss. Kissing seems terribly unsanitary at the least—not that anyone would want to snog him anyway. He completely dodges that particular trouble, to his parents relief. And Peter's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the others abandon them, Peter and him have a grand time in Hogsmeade. First, a date with Honeyduke’s finest, and, later, some stomach ache potion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the other two return, they get teased mercilessly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius pokes at Remus' aching ribs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How are you so bloody skinny when you eat like Wormy?" Sirius laughs, a nice sound, and his stomach jumps, tickling almost as much as Sirius too many games of tickle tag—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop!" Remus yelped between fitful laughs. "Bad Siri!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius, with his newfound obsession with playing dog, tackles him onto the bed. Butterflies fill his stomach, again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's been happening a lot. Maybe he should cut back on the sweets. But, if anything, he’s come to enjoy the feeling—enough to dream about it, even...How long had that been happening anyway? Maybe he just hadn't noticed before? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This year, Remus notices a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus notices the change—which he dubs The Great Silencing—after a particularly bad full moon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, The Moody Silence of the Month(™) happened on schedule. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this time, it lasts so long, the whole castle hears. Or rather, doesn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Radio silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Lily notices them go silent for an entire month. (For someone who despises James Potter, she tracks him rather closely.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The worst sore part of him enjoys knowing they must’ve had some terrible row while avoiding him. Good thing he wasn’t invited! Although they acted sometimes as if he owed them something for their misery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ridiculous as that is—he wasn’t there, much less responsible—he teaches them a Muggle thing called Sign Language. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dorm becomes quietly loud. It's even more distracting. Now he doesn't even know if anyone is talking, despite being able to hear the neighboring rooms. (Not that they say much over there—those five aren't friends, or even enemies.) </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The biggest part of him misses Sirius' voice—even his sleep talking. At night, he charms his mouth shut, with a gag for good measure—a survival tactic for his house of nightmares. These were his first hols at 'home' while keeping Remus' secret. Remus is touched, if a little concerned Sirius feels the need to keep it all year. Having something in your mouth that long can’t be safe, nor comfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Siri?" Remus nudges him lightly. Static tingles on his skin—probably from his cramped hands, or his jumper, or the velvet draperies. "You've been behaving oddly. What's bothering you of late?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh...how late?" Dark circles around Sirius' eyes mirror Remus' own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This month. You're rather...quiet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nightmares." Sirius resumes revising—without being nagged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What happened in Grimmauld Place?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something is wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sirius bumps into him in the library—going in. Sirius stares at him constantly when his back is turned. Sirius quits snogging, singing, humming,</span>
  <em>
    <span> snogging</span>
  </em>
  <span>. (That Remus doesn’t mind. The prospect of Sirius snogging disgusts him. Well, more of anyone else snogging Sirius…)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More static, like accidental magic, prickles on his bare skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something is definitely wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This he files away for after moons and exams and whatever else stands between him and a date with one true love—his mattress.</span>
</p>
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